Art Wednesday

Robert Rubbish co-founder of Le Gun Magazine and the kind of artist whose work (as part of the Bare Bones collective, or solo)  just makes you want to chuckle, and makes you think at the same time. In one moment, it’s sardonic – the next, it’s sort of rock-and-roll and poignant at the same time. This realisation made us think – you know what else is also rock-and-roll and poignant? Our stupid questions.

(We’re kidding – really, our stupid questions are just stupid and, well, stupid. Sorry Robbert; we tried.)

1. What’s your go-to fancy dress costume?

I don’t have one.

(Ed: May we suggest Cher? We’ve seen that executed to great effect many times. Often by bearded men.)

2. Are you a cat person, or a dog person?

I like cats and dogs.

3. Take a picture of, like, your most favouritest pair of shoes.

4. How were The Flintstones able to watch television?

I dont think we should be questioning cartoons – take them as fact.

(Ed: We’ll be honest – we have nowt better to do.)

5. What’s your “adult entertainer” name (name of your first childhood pet, Mother’s maiden name)?

Pickles Hanrahan.

6. If you were to show your bed in a gallery, a la Tracey Emin, what are three things we might find in or under it?

Three suitcaes (and dust, and some two-pence coins, and a “no dogs” in Spainsh sticker, and a white glove. Maybe a lost sock.)

7. What single thing would improve your quality of life?

lt sounds shallow, but more money, as have been skint all my life thus far.

(Ed: Run tell dat!)

8. If you could be the opposite gender for a day, how would you spend it?

Getting fucked.

(Ed: We’re choosing to believe that you mean drinking.)

9. What was the worst art show you have ever been to, and why?

Most of the ones I have ever been to in London.

10. Take a picture of three things you bought the last time you went grocery shopping

11. Pugs, or drugs? Or pugs on drugs?

I know a cute pug dog. I hope it’s not on drugs, although I think it might be gay.

(Ed: We hope this isn’t Minnie, because she is all woman. Uh, dog.)

12. Top Gear, or Top Gun?

It’s got to be Top Gear, as I just love to watch it sometimes, and just hate them, and shout at the TV.

13. Take a picture of your usual order in your favourite greasy spoon.

14.   What was the first album you ever bought?

The Jam Snap.

15. Who was the last person you unfriended on Facebook?

No-one, as I am not on Facebook.

16. Which animal, vegetable or mineral would you most like to see Damien Hirst cover in diamonds and flog for a small fortune next?

His own cock.

16. Have you ever drunk champagne from a shoe?

More than likely, but cant remember.

17. If you could bring back one extinct species, what would it be?

Joe Strummer.

18. What was the worst flight you’ve ever had?

I don’t fly any more, so haven’t been on a plane since 1990-ish.

19. What would you like the first line of your obituary to say?

“Oh well, he always knew it was coming.”

20. Which song, image or memory does your brain have as its screensaver?

“It’s A Sin”, by The Pet Shop Boys.

21. What’s your greatest sporting achievement?

Being alive today.

(Ed: Being alive is the only sport we’ve ever won at.)

22. Take a picture of yourself in your underpants (if we don’t ask, we won’t get).

(Ed: We just…we…uh…thanks, Robbert.)

23.   What’s your favourite joke?

I don’t like jokes.

24. Which song instantly picks you up when you’re having, as medical experts call it, ‘a case of the Mondays’?

The Libertines – What a Waster.

25. What was the most expensive piece of art you’ve bought, and does it still seem worth the money now?

A piece by an artist called Nic C. Grey, and yes – it’s worth it.

26. Tea, or coffee?

Tea, and maybe  a coffee when in mainland Europe.

27. Marmite, or vegemite?

Marmite.

28. Take a picture of your current favourite person (this may cause some arguments, but that’s alright).

Thanks, Robbert!

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