Brazilian artist LoRo VeRz creates loud, colourful graffiti work, inspired by the hustle and bustle of big cities. So taken with his work, the Waney Brothers  - the boys behind Zuma, Arts Club, Roka and Les Petite Maison - have commissioned him to make some work for their new Peruvian restaurant Coya that opens in London on the 26 November. We were rather taken with his art too and thought he’d make a great candidate for our Stupid Questions. Little did we know he’d have some fun with them too. 

1. Do you find that shortening the word ‘coleslaw’ to simply ‘slaw’ makes the foodstuff itself somehow less appetizing?

It reduces gases too.

2. Take a picture of your favourite pair of shoes.

Hmm, fashionable.

3. In three words, describe your own eyebrows.

They are normal.

4. Which of the following words or phrases would you say best described your mood today: ‘fair-to-middling’, ‘horrified’, ‘relentlessly chipper’, or ‘sasquatch’?


5. If you were to show your bed in a gallery, a la Tracey Emin, what are three things might we find in or under it?

An old coin, a hardened tissue and Tracey Emin herself.

6. Take a picture of the first thing to irritate you today.

Blue screen of death

7. Coronation Street or Masterchef?

Death. (Ed: that’s a bit strong, but we don’t blame you.)

8. What was the worst art show you have ever been to, and why?

My own art show because I got too drunk and vomited in one of my sculptures. I tried to explain to people that it was not a performanc, but they all loved it. The sculpture wasn’t sold though…

9. How were the Flintstones able to watch television?

They had sky, a primitive type of TV receiver.

10. Which animal, vegetable or mineral would you most to see Damien Hirst cover in diamonds and flog for a small fortune next?

A small dried shisoh mushroom.

11. How do you take your eggs in the morning?

I take them with a lot of care when I wake up and out them to bed before going to sleep. During the afternoon I brush them every now and then.

12. Which wrapper colour do you always choose first from a newly-opened packet of Penguins? (If you say that you have no preference, you are lying – everyone regresses to the age of seven when eating penguins).

I am vegetarian; I know nothing about eating penguins.

13. Which cartoon character would you most like to have ‘relations’ with (animals, in this case and this case only, are allowed)?

I would love to golden shower on Winnie the Pooh.

14. Pugs, or drugs? Or pugs on drugs?

The only drug I do every now and then is McDonald’s.

15. Top Gear, or Top Gun?

Top Gun. (Ed: damn straight, although Tom’s not…)

16. When you go to art openings, are you more interested in the art, or the booze? Or is it all about the schmooze?

I got to art openings so I can eat something before going back to my studio.

17. Would you cut your ear off to serve as a last-minute gift, a la Van Gough?

If it was a symbolic, small last-minute gift, I would rather cut off my little penis.

18. What would you like the first line of your obituary to say?

Guess what?

19. When was the last time you gave up your seat on the bus?

When I realised I was on the wrong bus, going the wrong direction, so I gave up my seat in order to leave the bus and catch another one going in the opposite direction.

20. Take a picture of yourself in your underpants (if we don’t ask, we won’t get).

Ummm, impressive. But we don’t think that’s you.

21. Which song instantly picks you up when you’re having, as medical experts call it, ‘a case of the Mondays’?

The Cure: Friday I am in love.

See Loro Verz’s work at new Peruvian restaurant Coya, in Mayfair London, which will be open to the public on the 26 November. To make bookings [click here]